Remember the film, The Blind Side, the one that earned Sandra Bullock many accolades and an Oscar?  The man whose story inspired the film, Michael Oher, has written a book (with the help of Don Yaegar) to set his story straight called I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness, to The Blind Side, and Beyond.  It’s a provocative and interesting read, a reminder about not just the importance of support, but a how-to book for those kids in similar circumstances who want to better themselves, and those who want to help them. 

Stories like The Blind Side make many uncomfortable because it’s another poor brown kid makes good only with the help of rich white intervention compounded by a legitimate issue with leniency towards athletes.   If you remember the film, Oher had a tutor help him meet NCAA academic eligibility; what’s not included in the film is the fact he took some online courses to replace some of his earlier academic failures, which has been a source of controversy, and a sorepoint for Oher.  But summing up the story of Oher and Touhys in a tweet-length soundbite is as grossly misrepresentative as assuming Oher skated by academically because of nepotism and exploitation.  It’s a lot like the hot coffee lawsuit story; reduced to snarky snippets, a story reads one way, when in fact the whole story is completely different.

Oher never lacked ambition to improve himself, only in practical skills and examples to follow, along with the support and security vital to achieving his goals.  Once he had those, and didn’t have to worry about keeping a roof over his head or where he’d get his next meal, he flourished.  Detractors who cry foul at the fact he was able to make up for past academic failures are missing the point; penalizing anyone instead of rewarding them for all their hardwork not only hurts them, but anyone else who aspires to better themselves.  If no one can escape their past mistakes -- especially ones made by a child whose essentially had no real life role models until he was a teenager, then no one can, and that's just wrong.

Shortly after I started middle school, my social studies teacher declared in class (apropos to nothing) that children whose parents divorce were “damaged goods” and going to be criminals and worse, prone to mental illness and suicide.  I was shocked and highly offended that this man whose job was to shape the minds of children so brazenly condemned so many of us for something beyond our control.  In his eyes, I might as well not bother aspiring to anything.  More than 30 years later, I remember can recall that moment vividly.  Even though I was never in the foster-care system, I can relate to Oher’s background (more than I’m comfortable in admitting), and being so callously dismissed at such a young age has stayed with me.  I would never presume to know exactly what Oher has overcome, but knowing how hard it is not to internalize the words and actions of the adults around you as a child, makes me appreciate his achievements, and just how important it is for a child to have positive reinforcement. 

The old saying that a burden shared is a burden lessened is epitomized by Oher;  once he was secure in knowing he had people like the Touhys (and many others before and after), his burdens were lessened, and obstacles to success were removed.  Yes, he had a private tutor, and yes, he was allowed to replace some of his early high school record. And why shouldn't he?  He wasn't given anything he hadn't earned.

The most important part of his story, in his own words, is that his life was not just blessed with talent “but people who were willing to help [him] develop that talent into something great.”  When all the rhetoric is removed, it boils down to whether or not someone’s extraordinary efforts to improve oneself matters.  What should really matter is just how far Oher has come, and those extraordinary efforts – tutor and replacement classes or no – are nothing less than extraordinary.